We Call It Unity. So Why Doesn’t It Feel Safe?

There’s a conversation happening right now. 

For someone to inflict violence and terror on another person is a deeper and more complex position. It’s exactly in alignment with the atrocities in this world. It’s an ugliness that reflects how much pain is still circulating among us.

Here’s the part I need everyone to sit with: if we tolerate this energy in music in a culture that Identifies itself as unity, as liberation, as the most enlightened room in the building, then we are hypocrites of the highest order. We cannot claim transcendence on the dancefloor and cruelty in the green room.

We cannot preach oneness and practice ownership over someone else’s body, safety, or freedom.

Because that’s what this is. An attack on someone’s freedom to choose. Freedom to a well mental wellbeing. And in turn, your experience with the other.

A Vicious Cycle

How men treat women affects how men treat men. It affects how women treat men. It affects how we treat each other, again and again, in a circle. Cause and effect. Karma. Call it whatever language fits you. It’s a universal code, and none of us are exempt from the loop it creates.

Along the spectrum of assault lies micro aggressions, subtleties, the kind I suspect everyone, if they’re honest, has a version of.

I once had a conversation with an artist I deeply respect, who told me he’d asked hundreds of women a question: had they ever taken action against a man out of spite, when given the opportunity? Every one of them said yes. I pushed back saying” not all women are the same”, and we can’t say this cycle holds true in every circumstance, there’s still good in this world. We landed somewhere honest: men need to be better to women, and women need to be better to men. And we shook hands. 

A Sense of Ownership Into This Problem

That’s the ask. Not guilt, but ownership. Guilt is quiet and it hides. Ownership shows up in the moment a friend crosses a line, in the choice to not look away.

Because if this continues, the music suffers. Women stop showing up because they don’t feel safe. And what kind of man does that make you? What kind of person does that make you? What kind of women does that make us, if we stay quiet and go along with the difference?

Standing for your right to party has always meant standing up for mutual respect of each other. One doesn’t exist without the other. Standing up for humanity, is standing up for your right to party.

Why Reporting Sexual Assault in the UK Still Costs Victims Their Privacy

Let me put a number on what I’m talking about, so this doesn’t stay only a feeling. Research from the British Academy found that about a third of women reported experiencing sexual harassment at a UK festival within just the previous year, with 8% reporting sexual assault compared to 1% of men. A YouGov poll (and additional source) found similar territory: almost half of women under 40 who’d been to a UK festival had experienced unwanted sexual behavior there. And here’s the part that should stop us: only 2% of those women reported it to police. Not because it wasn’t serious. Because most of us have learned, somewhere along the way, that reporting doesn’t change much, or that we won’t be believed, or that it’s easier to just get through the night.

UK police frequently seek victims’ lifelong medical, school, social services, therapy records, and full phone downloads. This legislation was tightened in 2022 after legal challenges, but research shows victims are still routinely asked for their devices, and requests for lifelong medical and therapy records continue. Why exactly should a victim have to present their life-long history in order for the case to be trialed?

That gap, between what happens and what gets said out loud, is the actual culture we’re talking about. The gap between what one person Is able to undergo versus the silence.

The Light in This Community Is Worth Protecting

What I love about us, about our people, about this underground community, is the sparkle that shows up in someone’s eyes when they feel truly seen, they are open and lovely. Next time you are at an event, look at each other, appreciate the glow, appreciate the light. The yogis refer to this as 'Namaste' which translates to: the light in in me honors the light in you.

What to Do If Something Happens: Nightlife Safety Resources That Work

Some practical things, while we work on the bigger ones

• If something happens to you or someone near you, you are not obligated to handle it alone. Good Night Out Campaign works directly with clubs, festivals and nightlife spaces on prevention and response. Many venues across Europe now train staff through them.

• Ask Angela: Some venues now use a code phrase system. If you feel unsafe or need to get away from someone, ask a bartender or staff member “is Angela here?” and they’ll help you find an exit or get you somewhere safe, no explanation needed. Worth asking your venue if they run something similar, and worth pushing for if they don’t.

• The NO MORE Global Directory is a good starting point no matter what country you’re in when something happens. A comprehensive international directory of domestic violence and sexual assault resources across every UN-recognized country.

• RAINN’s international hotline is available for English-language support anywhere, and their site can point you toward local support in your region.

Building Safer Rave Culture Before Crisis, Not After

And beyond crisis support, there’s real solidarity being built in the everyday. Rather than crisis-support, these are network community building as an infrastructure:

• Girls Who Rave organizes group trips across Europe’s rave and festival scene, so women don’t have to navigate the scene solo in the first place. A rave family built before you need one, not after.

• WHOLE Festival outside Berlin was founded by women and queer organizers who’d had enough of not feeling safe at the standard European festival model, and built something of their own instead.

• The Jaguar Foundation’s Future1000 program is bringing women and genderqueer people into DJing and production directly, so the imbalance isn’t just patched after the fact on the dancefloor.

Your Right to Party Is Your Responsibility to Each Other

None of this replaces the deeper work. But solidarity is built in the small, practical decisions too: Who you check in on, who you travel with, which rooms you help build so fewer people have to go looking for an exit.

We are in this together, and when we see something that goes against our values, we need to work on maintaining this state of wellbeing, and overall respect. Nothing else can be tolerated.